I pulled this one out of the archives, if you haven't read and are curious, this is how it all began just 4 short years ago.

So I have an AMAZING story to share...

   My journey to becoming the "incidental farm girl" is a pretty cool one.  Rewind a few years and I was working full time, as was hubby, opposite shifts of course. 

   But, we have the best of it all right? Two incomes, no childcare.  Check.  But, now we want a farm, some land, you know a place for our kids to enjoy growing up outdoors with the horse we were boarding.  We had 3 children (expecting #4) and wanted them to experience countryliving.  So, we found the perfect farm (like 4 different times!)  And the last one we found seemed to be an open door.  We put our home on the market, entered into a contract and sat back to pray...Then there it was, we got an offer on our home and we were set...just had to wait a little longer.  Felt like green lights and open doors all the way...

   Interestingly enough God was working behind the scenes at the same time.  We were thinking of making some educational changes (in my mind that meant possibly private school) for our children, however, after many heart-to-heart talks with hubby and lots of prayer I felt that God was calling us to homeschool our children.  Something my husband later confessed to me that he had been praying for me to decide to do for years.  

    But wait...I worked full time!  And we were going to be buying a very expensive farm that meant I REALLY DID HAVE TO WORK...LOTS! Oh and I kinda thought homeschoolers were...well, you know...weird. There I said it.  I never intended on homeschooling our children, we lived in a good school district, why would I?  But, I have learned (through much trial and many errors) that when you feel God calling you to action, whether you want to or not (and I did not) you had better do it.  So, there it was, there may have been a slight sigh of relief when that contract fell through on the homes as our buyer could not sell in the alotted time. So, that meant we weren't buying that expensive 15 acre farm...that I soooo wanted...insert frown.  Hubby then says..."with this housing market we would literally have to have someone knock on our front door and ask to buy...because we are never going to sell our home."  With that we took the for sale sign down.

   Okay, so we move forward right.  Hubby has so much faith in me that he thought that I would just be able to keep right on working full time and start homeschooling.  I knew better.  So, I began to pray, I prayed for God to lead my husband to want me home, like not working, like no second income...you feeling me?   God is amazing and shortly thereafter it became my husband's idea that I should come home and we should quit this madness of working opposite shifts, never having calm family time and chasing the American dream of what I like to call "Bigger,Better, Faster."   That also meant give up the farm dream again.  So we did.  We made a 6 month plan and I worked like a madwoman at my job, lots of overtime all the while with a new baby at home...and then...I quit my 15 year career as a social worker.  

    So, we settled into a routine.  I was finding my groove homeschooling a 7th grader, 3rd grader and 1st grader while managing a 1 year old and when we learned we were expecting again,  We were thrilled.  Because, for the first time I was free to fully be a wife and mother...something I really enjoyed doing when I did not have a full time job pulling at me.  And the homeschooling thing?  I really liked it, my kids really liked it, I felt like I was getting so much more in tune with my children, my husband, and life.  We were rolling along and life was good, we had learned to be content in what God had for us, maybe he wasn't planning a farm in our future, but what he had led us to was very fufilling.  

    We had another valley to pass through though.  We lost the baby I was carrying around 13 weeks in.  It was winter and though I was still relishing my role as homeschooling mother, I was crushed.  We prayed, we cried, and I asked God for a peace and to get me through.  He is faithful because he gave me a peace about that loss...and he comforted the hurt.

    Another month goes by and on a cold February day there was a knock at the door.  Do you remember my husband's comment?  There stood the former owner of our home, we purchased the home from them 10 years prior.  And with the former owner, a full price cash offer to purchase our home.  WOW!  All because.. you know, their daughter had moved in across the street and they had really good memories of raising thier children in our home. WOW!  

   But wait...We only have half of what we had before, I am not working, where will we go?  God was not done yet.  I look back now and I cannot believe how little faith I had.  I mean, God has a sense of humor and he sent the "knock at the door" but I didn't rust that he already had it all worked out.  Hubby and I started scouring farms, land, anything and kept coming up short.  I was afraid that we were going to end up in an apartment with homeschooled kids and a hubby who worked nights...scary huh?

   So on day #7 after we had the offer in writing for the purchasers of our home we looked online at real estate ads again.  I hit "refresh" and there it was.  Just listed, in our price range, almost 6 acres, and less than 5 minutes away!  We called about it and saw it within 2 hours.  It was perfect.  We made the offer, it was accepted and we were approved to buy! 

   So, now I am the incidental farm girl.  It is so amazing when we yield to what God wants to give us instead of spearheading our own plans.
   

This article may contain affiliate links, this costs you nothing but does help with the costs of running the farm and feeding the chickens.

            We can text, email, blog, facebook, tweet, instagram and be all things supermom.  Often times we work outside the home, run the kids to practice after and still manage to procure a semi homemade meal from the quintessential crockpot.  We are the doers of our generation, we seemingly can balance it all and still nurse the baby.  But there is a down side to all of this motion.  We have relied on technology and our own wits for all too long and some of the most basic of homemaking skills are being lost to us.  I used to be in that bustle (some days I still feel “bustled about” although these days its in flip flops and yoga pants, no longer in heels and designer bags).  I traded it in for a slower paced life, one where I could procure the knowledge of my grandmother and her grandmother of the way life used to be.  Truth be told, other than blogging about this life I could almost do away with most of the technology that is supposed to make our lives simpler, I think it complicates things in the pursuit of BIGGER, BETTER, FASTER.

            What skills is that that I am suggesting we are missing out on?  Some of us are missing the basics, some of us have mastered those but lost the more refined.  Here are some of the ones that I think are the most important skills that we need to revisit. 

FOR BEGINNERS:

1. Bread making
            Panera and other bakery type places have bailed us out on this one but there is nothing, I mean nothing that compares to a homemade loaf of bread that you created with your own hands.
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2.   From Scratch Cooking
            It has become all too easy to run to the grocery for a jar of spaghetti sauce, canister of cocoa, box of granola, or a jar of pesto.  If you just stop to think though, all of these things are “pre made” which means they have to be pumped full of preservatives to get them to your table.  When you learn to make some of these things “from scratch” you are not only saving money but you are also eating healthier.

3.  Sewing
            Likely your grandmother or great grandmother new how to do this skill.  Even if you start simple, like sewing a burp cloth for your baby or a few throw pillows for your couch you will feel a great sense of accomplishment.
 
4. Gardening
            You can start small, even a tomato plant in a container or a few herbs in the windowsill but the fact that you start is what matters.

5. Canning
            This is a skill we should all possess.  Even if you don’t regularly can hundreds of pounds of produce you should know your way around a hot water canner.
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6. Handwritten notes
          This is not so much a skill as it is one of the lost arts.  With email and texting (and of course the rising cost of stamps) there are very few handwritten notes being sent.  I am too guilty of this one as well, but there is nothing like a quick note, on real paper with actual penmanship to make your friend’s day.

7. Handmade Gifts
          We often cite time as our enemy on this one, or we feel that we somehow need to live up to the unattainable Pinterest image we have in our mind’s eye.  We then fail to even attempt handmade gifts because we feel that they are not “Etsy ready.”  Just think yourself though how much a thoughtful gift means to you when crafted by a friend, be it a hand lettered coffee cup or a homemade sugar scrub.

8.  Herbal Remedies
          I talk of this one often.  Our ancestors knew plants.  We are lucky to know the difference between straw and hay.  There is so much knowledge that we are losing because we don’t know where our food comes from, we don’t make time to talk to the older generations and we don’t delve into herbal remedies that are right under our noses.

9. Soap Making
          I’m not talking about the cute little kits from craft stores I am talking about some real old fashioned lye and fat soap making.  It isn’t that hard and we have become sissified in our fear of using lye, something that may burn our skin.  Let me tell you if you have ever cooked a meal, the stove might burn your skin too, not that big a deal.
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10. Line Drying Clothes
          This may be the simplest start on the whole list.  We are just too darn busy to be bothered with drying our clothes outdoors.  Let me tell you though, you haven’t lived until you have slept on some fresh line dried sheets in the summer sun, really, it’s true.  Oh, and don’t forget the fact that it really does save on electricity, I average about a $30 a month savings this way.

  How many of these basic skills are you missing?  Do you have them in your homemaker's toolbox, if not, start small and start trying and learning.

​Related Posts:  Backyard Medicine, Homemade Coconut Oil Soap, From Scratch Snacks, 10 New Gardener mistakes, Handmade DIY.

After a long gardening season and hopefully a bountiful harvest it is almost sad to see the fall approach with its cooler evenings and occasional nippy mornings.  What does often happen this time of year is that previously stunted herbs begin to be revitalized and you may find yourself swimming in Basil, Oregano, Rosemary and some of the more hearty herbs. 
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                I don’t know about you but I often am mentally “finished” with the preservation process by this time and I have a tendency to feel slightly overwhelmed with more tasks on my plate than hours in the day.  However, never wanting to waste a beautiful harvest of herbs here is a fast and super simple way to preserve the hearty and savory herbs you may well use for cooking all winter.

I am not kidding when I tell you that this method literally takes 5 minutes of your time so even the busiest of us can manage it.  And yes, it really does work just as I explain it though I too was skeptical the first time I tried it.
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1.  Harvest your hearty herbs
2. Wash and pat dry
3.  Tear and stuff herbs into the molds (notice I did it backwards in the photos which led to some overflow)
4. Fill your containers (mini muffin molds or ice cube trays work fantastically) with Olive oil covering the herbs
5. Freeze for 24 hours
6. Viola!  You have success.  You can either remove the cubes and place in a freezer bag or you can leave in your container until you need to use them.

A word of caution, once frozen these will thaw quickly so if you are removing them to put into a freezer bag do so quickly.  You can then use these in your sautés, sauces, soups and savory dishes.  Anything that requires herbs and olive oil.  My favorite recipe is here: Tomato Basil Chicken

Though fresh is always best, this is a fantastic alternative in the winter months to use up that fresh herbal goodness!
 

I really like to make my own products, whether it be skin care, cleaning products, soaps, whatever there is some serious gratification in self sufficiency.  That being said I also really like to be in control over what I am putting either on or in my body when it comes to products and medicines.  I prefer to "go au natural" with my remedies for the common illnesses and to do the same for my family.  

That being said I have a few favorite recipes from older blog posts I have done as well as a round up from the web to share with you all today.  It's time to get busy before winter is upon us, that way we are all stocked and ready for cold and flu season as well as that dry itchy skin that is a product of being indoors with a furnace running full blast or out doing farm chores in the bitter chill of winter.

Please let me know if you too have a great herbal remedy that you use and make at home, maybe even one your learned from your grandmother...I know mine has talked alot about the old mustard plasters she had to endure as a child.

Do you like to read about homesteading?  There is a great roundup that I love to read from a whole lot of like-minded homesteaders...be sure to check it out!

I love my farm life.  I love caring for and watching my livestock.  I love canning, gardening and all the craziness that comes from living on my little homestead.  I have a secret though, the only place I would trade the farm for might just be a place on the beach, too bad this gal can't have both...Nirvana is what that would be.  Instead I have to enjoy a getaway to the ocean every few years and hold on to the pictures and memories of ocean waves lapping the shore to get me by until next time.

We recently just had such a luxury.  A beachfront getaway to my favorite spot.  I must digress that when I tell you why this is my favorite spot it may turn some off, I have sent friends here and they became "bored" because well...there is just a beach, an island if you will, a state park at one end and a bay to the opposite side of the Gulf, and tons of wildlife.  There are a few hole in the wall places like my favorite Oyster Bar and Pizza dive.  But, that is it.  No boardwalk, no hubub, no crowds.  For me that is the epitome of beach perfection.
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This is my "secret" spot.  The secret is out...it is the "Forgotten Coast" of Florida and was actually voted in the top 10 beaches in the USA twice in the last few years.  St. George Island is hands down the third on my list of best beaches EVER (the first is Playa Del Carmen in Mexico and the second being Maui, neither of which is very affordable for a large family to visit).

The Gulf beaches are white sugar sand and not crowded.  The bay side has an entirely different Ecosystem just 2 miles across the island from the Gulf side and makes for fabulous education for the kids.  In past years we had the opportunity to go oystering, crabbing and fishing on the bay side, so much fun!  The entire Island is approx 21 miles long and 2 miles wide.  The north side of the island is 6 miles of uninhabited Florida State Park that you can get into for a mere $6 a carload and it has some AMAZING shelling and driftwood finding.  This treasure is right off of the panhandle just a 10 minute drive from Appalachicola, Florida and about 1.5 hours from the overpopulated Panama City Beaches.

The best part of this beach is the amazing amount of life that can be found.  Every time we come we see how many hermit crabs, sand dollars, starfish and beautiful shells we can find...we never have the heart to keep any of the live animals of course, but it is neat to play with them!

After a few long days at the beach when we did decide to take a break and "find something to do" there is the awesome and totally free nature center right off the island, it is open Tues-Sat from 9am-4pm and is a fantastic place to cool off and learn a lot with hands on stations for the kids. Check it out here.

Then the town of Apalachicola is fun for doing a little bit of touristy shopping and oyster eating as well as visiting my favorite soap shop.  It is a short 5 mile trek across the bridge that connects St. George Island to Eastpoint and then over another bridge to Apalachicola, 10 minutes in all.

If you ever get a hankering to go and visit this gem, here are a few tips from yours truly...

-Pack your water, the entire area of Florida here has funky tasting water

-Stop at the Dollar General just before crossing the bridge to the island, cheap water toys and sunscreen

-I favor staying on the ocean side vs. the bay side due to mosquitos at night

-The Island Dog store rents bike boards for $10 a day, lots of fun!

-Eat at BJ's pizza on the island, its sooo good!

-For a large family, or just some good ol' southern cooking you can't beat the food or prices of Hog Wild BBQ in Carabelle

-Stop in to the Old Time Soda Shop in Apalachicola for some souvenires

​-Be sure to get a Gelato at the Apalachicola Chocolate Company (Amaretto is divine!)

-Look up the legend of Tate's Hell State Park and go for a hike after...I dare ya!
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Homeschooling can cost as much or as little as you want it to...and guess what?  It doesn't matter how much you spend according to statistics, you will still be cranking out amazing kiddos.  Statistics have shown that the income of parents who homeschool in no way reflects the education the child receives.  However, some of us have tighter budgets than wish lists so here are a few sound tips for saving money and homeschooling on a budget.

​1. SHOP USED

Just like I learned years ago in college, you can spend a lot, or a little on your textbooks and the only difference seems to be the amount of money left in your wallet.  Used textbooks or curricula are the way to go when you are on a budget, let someone else take the depreciation hit (kinda like when you drive a new car off the lot and it drops a few thousand in value).  Some of my favorite places to pick up the curricula I want for my kiddos are:
- Ebay
-Homeschool Classifieds
-Craigslist
-Local Facebook swap groups

2. Join A Group

If you are not already part of a homeschool group, now is the time to start.  Some families link up with others in their church, their friends, or even their community.  If your group doesn't already swap or rent books to one and other, head up the movement.  All it takes is a bit of organization and a "librarian" to keep tabs on things.  You can nominate someone to record who borrowed whose books and viola, you are in business.  If this doesn't work you can opt for a rental program among friends as well.

3. Check out Free Online Resources

If all else fails, you can homeschool virtually free, with a printer and a little leg work.  Here is a fantastic list of places to look for free curricula, unit studies, or topics of interest...(Including some free planners here)

-The Frugal Homeschool Mom
-Easy Peasy Homeschool
​-Homeschool Free For Shipping
​-Freely Educate
​-YouTube
-Homeschool Share
-Schooling a Monkey
-Year Round Homeschooling
​-Free Homeschool Deals

4. Combine Grades

If you have more than one child that you are teaching and your children are only a year or three apart, consider teaching them the same subjects together so you aren't buying individual grade levels.  I also don't ever buy grade level kits.  The beauty of homeschooling is that we don't have to use the same guidelines as a public school, who says your child who is 7 can't learn alongside your 9 year old when reading or doing science?

5.  Don't Spend $ on Pre-K or Kindergarten 

 This is too easy to just do for free or next to nothing so don't waste your cash on curricula for this age.  Let them play and incorporate reading to them, file folder games (you can print tons free or make your own), use what you have around the house and don't stress about it.  Here are a few of my favorites:

-Itsy Bitsy Fun
-Homeschool Preschool
-From ABC's to ACT's
​-Playdough to Plato
-Worksheet Fun

So see, its not so hard to save some cash and still homeschool.  It is all about the creativity and your willingness to think outside the box.  Here's to a great homeschool  year!

Do you see that smile? Its almost contagious.  She was jumping up and down and just plain thrilled.  She worked hard, she memorized A LOT (way more than mom could retain) and she won 1st place in her age and 1st place in her division for Showmanship.  That means she beat out about 50 other excellent showman to attain this award.  She was asked questions such as:

-What type of fur does a Dwarf Hotot rabbit have?
-How many recognized breeds are there for ARBA? (American Rabbit Breeders Assoc)
-What is a dewlap?
-What are the long hairs on a rabbit's coat called?

She knew all the answers thanks to loads of studying and even some helpful worksheets given to her by another adviser in our 4H group.

To say I am a proud mama is a bit of an understatement.  The best part was her sheer surprise at the whole thing, she is a great sport and was helping and congratulating her competitors as well.

My 10 year old son wound up with a 2nd place ribbon for his showmanship of chickens, he also did an amazing job and was also asked some pretty difficult questions but the one that knocked him out of first place was concerning a breed of bird (turkey) that he was not showing and did not know much about.  He still did excellent and learned so much.

The experiences they had for this, their first year in 4H, were amazing.  They are both eager to compete and show again next year and their quest for knowledge makes me proud, this is how learning should occur, with a zeal, a zest and a desire to learn more.  

​If you haven't looked into 4H for your child, you are really missing out.  Not all of the projects are livestock ones and I am very impressed with the amount of detail and information that these kids learn whether they are doing a project on healthy snacks, sewing, cooking, lizards, robotics, gardening or even CPR.  Read my post here on why you should get involved.

Many kids are already back in school, so take a moment to look back and check out this list to see how you did.  If you didn't complete them all, sneak a few in before the weather turns cold or just start your bucket list for next year!

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1. Drinking from a water hose.
2. Catching fireflies
3. Riding in the back of a pickup truck
4. Buying ice cream from an ice cream truck
5. A Drive in movie
6. Camping out in the backyard
7. Playing in the rain
8. Walking barefoot in the mud
9. Climbing a tree
10. Roasting marshmallows/making s'mores

Did I miss any?  These are some that come to mind when I think of the way I grew up, that was way before digital media took a huge toll on our children, these are some of the things I want my children to experience, regularly.  How about yours?

You’ve thought about homesteading, you’ve perused land, you may even be well on your way to purchasing a farmhouse.  On the other hand, you may live on some land already but feel a bit overwhelmed at how to start the process of homesteading and becoming more self sufficient.  You have come to the right place and I am here to help.

It has only been a short time (we are in our fourth year) that we have had our own little homestead.  I call it little because we live on just shy of 6 acres, not grandiose by any means but definitely large enough to raise some livestock, garden, can the bounty and feel like I am at least on the road to homesteading.  Looking back though, I realize that this is a journey that I really began years and years ago when I started wanting to be more in touch with the way my grandmother and mother grew up.  I wanted to learn some of the old skills, the ones we would now refer to as “self sufficiency skills” it is more of a pop culture word now but what it really means is that we can do for ourselves. 

Many of the skills of our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents for that matter are becoming lost to so many generations because we feel that they are antiquated, there is  a growing movement happening though.  It is a bit of an enlightenment really, some of us are starting to realize that when those previous generations are gone, the skills and knowledge that they have are also lost, forever.  Unless…we get busy and begin learning now. 

It is all to easy to feel inadequate if you look online at homesteaders who are blogging about their great accomplishments and adventures, but just know that we all start somewhere and we all are on a journey, I know I still am and there will always be someone further along that journey than me. (I have a post here to give you a healthy perspective)  We all have to start somewhere though.
Where do you start though?  Here are some great tips to get you going.

1. Check out the print
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There are a number of fantastic books out there where you can begin to glean information even if you haven’t purchased that land yet.  The skills you can read about and learn are an education that cannot be taken from you so get busy!

2. Read About Other's Journeys (not to compare yourself but to learn)

 Here are a few of the bloggers I love to read...

 - The Farm Barbie
 - Oakhill Homestead
 - Simple Life Mom
 -Not So Modern Housewife
 -The Chicken Chick
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3. Start Small

This relates to ANY topic be it Gardening, Animal Husbandry, Canning, Sewing, Homeschooling, From Scratch Baking...any of them.  Start where you are and start small.  Master a few areas through some trial and error and you will feel even more confident about your ability to move forward and on to the next area of interest.

4. Keep a Journal

Many of us start down the homesteading path and become easily discouraged when we have a few fails (and you will).  Keeping a journal of what you are doing, what is working and what is not is very helpful.  Also, if you are venturing into livestock KEEP NOTES.  

​This is so important because in the excitement of getting those new chicks, piglets or any other animal you will forget.  However, many months or even a year down the line you may want to know what all of your hard work is netting you in your pocketbook, without good records of the amount of cash you spent up front, and the amount you regularly spend on feed, there is no way to go back and get accurate facts.

5.  Connect with Mentors

None of us can do this alone.  You will find (if you haven't already) that many a farmer, gardener, or homesteader will relish sharing their knowledge with a fledgling newbie.  Just be respectful of their time and compensate them when possible (a homemade loaf of bread, some fresh cool new variety of veggie you grew, a dozen eggs, you get the picture).  

I find that the BEST advice out there is that which comes from the crowd of folks over the age of 70 years old.  The older the better actually.  They have lived this life, they have years of experience that is worth its weight in gold, go out there and get some for yourself. If you aren't sure where to find someone, look for a local farmer's market and find the oldest gent or lady there.  If that isn't an option, look around you, find some farms and go introduce yourself, taking along some goodies from your place for the introduction never hurt either.

Related Posts: Not Yet A Homesteader, Chickens on the Farm,  and Organic Gardening.

Want to read more posts by other homesteaders?  Check out these roundups that have tons of fantastic information!

Many well meaning parents have a tendency to idealize what homeschooling actually is. The daydream can go something like this: days are spent languishing in rich literature, afternoons are spent learning thrilling hands-on science experiments, and weekends are spent going on exceptionally educational and exciting field trips that the whole family can enjoy.  All of this and in the end these parents will turn out a child thankful for the amazing experiences afforded to them by their loving and doting parents who have sacrificed to provide the best education available to them, all so they could enter the college of their choice with an amazing transcript in tow.  If this is the ideal, what happens between the ideal and reality that causes so many homeschool parents to quit the journey, chalk it up as a good try, and return their children to the mass education system?

1. Some well meaning parents  “ idealize the process”

The problem with this is that they then cannot live up to the ideal nirvana that they have created in their minds.  Homeschooling is messy friends; it is not always going to go well.  There will be days that you do not accomplish nearly what you had hoped, and others where you are left in awe of what you are able to teach in a very short time.  There will be moments you want to quit, moments you feel like a failure, and moments when you realize that the curriculum you chose is NOT a good fit.  It is all part of the beautiful, messy process.  It is not an ideal that you are living up to, there is no perfect homeschool, the sooner that one can realize that the sooner one is able to let go of the idea and recognize that it is the reality of homeschooling that will take you to the end, good, bad and beautifully messy.

2. They have an inability to accept delayed gratification. 

Our society is terrible at this; we cannot accept that gratification is not instantaneous.  We purchase things we cannot afford, we are impulsive, and we have a difficult time waiting and being patient.  Homeschooling your children is no different.  Many homeschooling parents fail because they expect to see results YESTERDAY, and they aren't prepared for delaying the gratification of seeing results.  Sometimes it will be weeks, months or even years before you start to reap the fruits of your labor.  The hours spent with the struggling reader may not yield immediate results, but if you wait, if you are patient, the fruit will yield, and when it does, it is so worth every moment of the wait.

3. They have a need to be praised and feel thanked

This is another no-no.  If you are expecting to be praised for your efforts either by your non-teaching spouse, your children, or other friends and family, you will likely be disappointed.  Your children may not fully realize what you have done for them until they are grown and many years have passed (back to that delayed gratification section).  Your spouse, unless they step into your shoes for a week, will have no idea just how difficult it can be.  Your friends and family, though they may offer the occasional "you are amazing, I could never do that," comments, they too will not understand.  Your motivation will need to come internally, or from an external calling, but if you are expecting this to be a thankful job, you will likely be disappointed.

4.  They compare themselves to others

This cardinal rule, if broken, will lead to dissatisfaction, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy.  There is always going to be someone who looks like they are doing a better job than you are.  Just know that some people are better at hiding their inadequacies than others.  Some other parent may seem more organized, more spiritual, more educated, more, more, more than you… Don't look there.  Don't compare yourself to other homeschooling parents.  Once each of us is able to realize that our children are gifts and they were each given to the family they ended up in for a very unique and special reason, it is easier to understand that the best teacher they can have is their own unique parent.
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                Now that you are aware of the traps that lead to the failure of the homeschooling parent, you are better equipped to not only avoid these traps but realize where you may be inclined to stumble.  You are doing a great and amazing thing on this journey, keep up the daily work and you will see results, just maybe not this week.

This is an older post, back from when my now 2 y/o was a little babe, but since we are headed into this land again with baby #6 on the way I thought a re-post of this was worth it as I know I will be using this again!

I admit to being a bit sleepy as I sit down this morning to write my blog post...we have a teething baby at our house.  It has been over a week now of up and down in the night, extra snotty-ness and a desire to constantly be held, all signs that here we go... (I have learned the signs well with the experience of 4 other children).  But this time around I have something else in my arsenal, homemade teething gel.  I never did like using over the counter teething gel, I usually just opt for cold wet rags, ice teethers, and occasionally Motrin, but this little one's bottom tooth is so stubborn that I tried another route.  I had read quite a bit about Clove essential oil and its numbing properties so I tried it, and I am sold! (even if my baby now smells like a holiday ham)

  I always try oils on myself first so I put a drop on my gums and incidentally got  A bit on my tounge...whoa...totally numb!!!  But, at full strength Clove oil burns when put on your gums so I knew I needed to dilute it for baby.  I first tried a ratio of 1 drop of oil to 1 T of coconut oil but that was not strong enough so I settled with 2 drops of Clove oil to 1 T of coconut oil.  I keep this mixture in an old makeup container that I washed and re-purposed.  I take it with me everywhere at this point as I know that I can use it multiple times as needed and it is all natural so no found side effects!

I was not raised on a farm, I am learning as I go but learning is one of those things that you are never too old to do.  

I have always heard really good things about 4H so this past year I decided that my children should give it a try and join up with some animals.  It has definitely been a good experience and my children have learned so much.

I always thought that 4H was for farm kids, not so, there are so many projects that a suburban kid could do and they are all so well organized and educational.  However, for the farm kids, there are some really neat things that they learn about animal husbandry.  My children have learned that you can actually wash a chicken (yes, people do this to make the chickens look their best before judging...and you can blow dry them, most of them even like it!)

We have learned all about rabbit breeding (see this post). And the educational factor alone has been well worth the effort.  So on to the 5 things...

1. The Projects are VERY educational...
(your kids will learn more than you thought possible!)

When you are interested in a subject, there is probably a project book about that subject, if not, there are plenty of self determined projects available.  Children can take a project on everything from baking, sewing, acting, gardening, robotics, and veterinary care to bicycling, bully prevention, first aid and STEM projects. The project books, however, are meticulously laid out and have so many specifics and different areas to explore that if there is a topic your child is interested in, they will learn ALOT!

There is a certain camaraderie that is born when children are working on a project and being challenged by other children.  I have found through this year that some of the older children who have already taken projects that my children are now taking have been exceptionally helpful in guiding them.  In addition, many of the project books require kids to present their projects to the club they belong to, a great experience as you learn from others.

When taking projects the goal is for the child to be able to present what they have learned to a judge at your county fair.  They are interviewed and have to learn to think on their feet, answer questions respectfully, and articulate themselves.  Often times they are also presenting to more than one judge so there is the public speaking platform that comes into play as well.

When your child joins a 4H club and chooses a project (or many projects) they can earn prizes, accolades and sometimes even cash for their hard work.  The project does not have to be a livestock one and the feeling of having "won" something for working hard is something that is invaluable to the self esteem of a child.

Yes, it is that detailed.  Your child could work on the first aid project and they will learn enough to qualify as an actual school subject, and the bonus?  It is mostly hands on as they are to prepare a poster and presentation about what they have learned.  If you don't have a 4H group that is a good fit in your area, you can always order the books and just use them as curriculum, even without being a member.  I am telling you, this is GOOD stuff and it is very reasonably priced. (here is a link to their educational store)

Are you interested yet?  If you need to know where to start HERE is how to find your local 4H groups.  I suggest stopping in at a few different meetings that groups hold to find the chapter that is a good fit for you and your child.  Our first meeting was with a group that was not fantastic, but when we went to another group, we fit in perfectly!

I always prefer methods of homeopathy when caring for my family, cold and flu season is no different.  Now that it is coming round the corner I wanted to be sure I had a fresh stash of this fantastic old-timer remedy on hands.  It also just so happened that I had a little one with a crunky cough which made it that much more important to get on the task at hand.

 Last year a dear friend had given me some of her homemade Elderberry Syrup and I liked it even better than the store bought versions that I was used to by this point.  I began searching my property and the adjacent properties for some Elderberry, but to no avail.  I found lots of poisonous berries (pokeberry, water hemlock and Silky dogwood, but none of the desired Elderberry).

 Like any determined farmgirl I went ahead and ordered an Elderberry plant so that at least in the future I could be sure about plant identification and hopefully have my own stash of berries to make this fantastic herbal remedy.

However, in the meantime I decided to go ahead and run to the local health food store to purchase my own dried Elderberry to make this fantastic herbal remedy.

Why Elderberry you ask?  For starters Elderberries are known to be very rich in antioxidants they contain 87 percent of the daily value in vitamin C, and high amounts of vitamin A, potassium, iron, vitamin B6, fiber, and betacarotene. This medicinal plant has a long history with native Americans who used it to treat conjunctivitis, cold and flu symptoms, congestion, arthritis pain, upset stomachs, gas, and for detoxification.  Modern day herbalists and natural homeopathic doctors tout its boost to the immune system, and use to battle coughs, colds, flu, bacterial and viral infections and tonsillitis. Elderberry juice was even used to treat a flu epidemic in Panama in 1995.

Being that Elderberries are all natural, easy to procure, and have known health fighting benefits as well as immune boosting effects I use this as the main ingredient in my battle for wellness.  

Other ingredients are Slippery Elm (a substance that has been known to reduce sore throats, coughs and contains mucilage to soothe). Echinacea (a known immunity booster that works great for colds, coughs and acts as an anti inflammatory agent) Ginger (another anti inflammatory agent that also aids in battling bacterial infections as well as respiratory issues and another great all natural immune booster) Cinnamon (another antioxidant as well as bacterial infection fighter) and then some good old fashioned Honey, what our grandparents used to soothe a sore throat and a cough.

You simply take all of the "dry" ingredients (not the honey) and add to a small saucepan with 3 cups of water.  Bring to a simmer (not a boil) and simmer until your water is reduced by almost half.  At this time use a sieve to strain all the bits and pieces so you get the beautiful medicinal liquid.  

While still warm add in your honey and stir, stir, stir.  You can then store your liquid gold in amber bottles in the refrigerator for up to 6 months.  Note: This recipe makes 16 ounces of medicinal Elderberry syrup that works wonders at the beginning of a cold or flu like symptoms, to treat sore throats or coughs, or after exposure to someone ill.  Typical dose is 1 tsp daily until symptoms cease or for a few days if using as  preventative.

Do you make your own Elderberry Syrup?  If so is your recipe similar?  Give this one a try as the "extra" ingredients really do make a huge difference!

I love to read about what other homesteaders are up to...check out this homestead blog hop to read what others blog about too.

I love to garden, if you have read much on my blog you know that this is a passion of mine, I have even joked about the "gardener's manicure" that I often sport as a result.  I was recently contacted by a company who had a product I found intriguing, the Honey Badger Garden Glove.  Just look at these things, I mean I was instantly curious.  I spoke at length with the owner of the company regarding their marketing strategy of having a select few gardening bloggers try out the product and offer an honest review.  I was game.  

​The owner was very knowledgeable about gardening, the challenges a gardener faces and just how easily most common garden gloves wear out.  (Yes, I have a number of pairs with holes in the fingers that I have sadly had to toss over the years.)  He was happy to chat with me at length about his product and his desire to offer a solution to gardeners such as myself.  

There, it was a product that intrigued me, the owner was kind and knowledgeable, I'm all in for a trial.

I will also admit that the fact it was named after a crazy elusive mammal digging fiend with a likeness to the comic book character Wolverine did not hurt one bit.

I received my trial pair of gloves in the mail as promised and I couldn't wait to get them on.  They were femininely pink for making me feel so primal, I loved it.  The gloves fit very nicely, snug even without being uncomfortable.  I was worried that they would make my hands hot and sweaty because of the slick coating but even after an hour in the hot sun, they did not.  

So, lets head outside and put these beauties to the test...

It was a hot and sunny day but the gloves did not make my hands sweaty or uncomfortable despite their snug fit.

First up, digging for potatoes.  I have to say that this was infinately easier with the assistance of a mammal like pair of claws.  The dirt easily yielded at my fingertips (I mean claws) and I was able to dig up the tubers with no problem.

The gloves come with claw tips on the right hand, the left hand or both depending on your personal preference.  I am right hand dominant so these were great for digging, however when it came to weed pulling I found that it wasn't as easy to get used to pulling with the clawed glove, it may be that this would just take practice or I would need a left hand dominant claw for digging and that would free up my right hand for the weed pulling.

The gloves kept my hands clean, pricker free when pulling up thistle, and aided me in being able to nix the usual hand tools for light gardening and weeding.  I love that my lengthier nails were not at all strained because when digging with the claws there is a bit of comfort room allowed for us ladies.

My 13 year old daughter was just as curious and she had to accompany me to the garden for a trial as well.  Her assessment?  "Mom, these things are COOL!"  I actually had a willing participatory weed assistant at my side.  She reveled in the digging capability of her claw-like finger tips (as did I when it was my turn) and we aptly concluded that primally speaking, these gloves definitely made a mundane task such as garden maintenance much more fun!

So for overall rating:

* * * * * Five Stars for the sheer coolness factor of the gloves
* * * * * Five Stars for comfort and ease of use
* * * * * Five Stars for protection of hands

I cannot yet rate the durability as I haven't washed these gloves yet nor have I had an entire gardening season to put them to the test but they appear very promising on all other fronts so I would give these an Incidental Farmgirl Thumbs Up!

Want to order your first pair?  

This blog post may contain affiliate links that cost you nothing but help me maintain this site for your sheer enjoyment.

I love my OB, she happens to be a friend as well as a care provider.  I have seen her for 17 years and she has walked along side me during difficult seasons (miscarriages) as well as joyous occasions (the births of 4 of my children).  We have had lunch together, she has come to one of my children’s birthday parties and I have her personal as well as home phone numbers, yes we have a great relationship. 

I want you to know that this post is in no way a slam on most OB/GYN care providers.

I recognize the limitations that medical professionals have in our modern Western Culture.

I realize that most of them are not trained to expect that women want to be more in control of their medical care, in fact, most women are not even aware that they can refuse certain tests/procedures/protocols.

I understand that they serve a purpose for some women who are in need of a higher level of care for their births.

But, over the years I have come to a place where I overwhelmingly prefer the care of a midwife for childbirth.  Let me tell you why.

1. Midwives take time

                Even the best traditional OB does not have the kind of time that a midwife can devote to her client.  Especially in the case of a homebirth midwife it is not at all uncommon for our prenatal appointments to easily last an hour with no waiting in line.  Doesn’t that sound fabulous?  My homebirth midwife comes to my house so I don’t have to worry about childcare, getting to the office, parking or even waiting for long periods of time to see my care provider, she comes to me. 

2. My children can be part of the process

                Most midwifes view birth as a family event.  A reason for celebration of life that all family members can partake in.  My children are able to participate in most of my prenatal appointments and often my midwife will just allow them to listen to their new sibling’s heart beat.  A midwife is able to take the time to encourage the questions of my curious crew which in turn allows them to feel important and included.  This cannot happen in a traditional exam room where there is little space and little time to accommodate.

3. Midwifes don't see pregnancy & childbirth as an abnormal event

                 Let me clarify this a bit.  When seeing a traditional OB the focus is more on things that may be going awry.  Your weight is checked, urine screened, BP taken, tests offered and sometimes required, and there is a list that is essentially "checked off" as you go through the 15 minutes or less that your provider has for you.  The OB is there to check for problems and abnormalities and address those issues.  On the other hand though a midwife does some of the same monitoring it is not the overarching point of the prenatal appointment.  Yes, your urine is screened, your BP taken but nothing intrusive and nothing you don't want.  Many midwifes (mine included) have opted for a more "hands off" approach when it comes to exams that aren't directly on the abdomen.  (in other words for sake of not being graphic, there is no exam below the belly) as many studies have shown that there really is no reason for such exams.

4.  Midwifes are afforded the time to employ a holistic health model
              
                  I think my OB friend that I mentioned would love to get to know her patients better, to see what makes them tick, but the reality of it is that she has a short period of time with which to do a specific task.  She is not afforded the luxury and has even said as such.  The holistic health model is one that looks at the BIG picture not just the parts thereof.  It is a model that recognizes that we are bigger than the sum of our parts and that each system in the body can directly effect the others.  If you have a mother suffering with anxiety and depression, it will directly impact her pregnancy, if you have a mother who is easygoing and content, her outcomes will also be effected but in a different way.  Our emotions and our day to day living (exercise, diet, emotional well-being, etc) affect our health.  Midwives embrace this model and therefore are just as concerned with the welfare of the mother's emotional state as they are with her physical state.  They are not psychologists but sometimes a mother having a rough day can feel loads better by being heard and chatting with a midwife friend.

5. Midwifes are more passive and encourage clients to be more active

            A midwife will usually encourage the client (not patient because this is not an illness) to take the lead.  I know when I first began down this path I expected my midwife to "tell me what to do" like my traditional doctors had always done.  However, midwives typically prefer to encourage and empower their clients to take the lead in their choices, explore options, and research.  If you want to take an herbal birth prep, she may encourage you to research specific ones to see what is right for you, if you want to birth in a certain position, you will likely be encouraged to figure out what your body feels is best.  You are in control and rather than your birth plan being treated as a "wish list" at a hospital setting,  you are setting the game plan that will be followed and respected.


​

Related Posts:  A natural mom's love/hate relationship with modern medicine, Our homebirth Story & Choices in Childbirth

I have a yearly battle with a specific pest (well more than one but for this post we will chat about my nemesis).  This thing has tortured me since I quit using any form of synthetic pest control about 12 years ago. (back when I became more educated about what I was doing to my food by using Sevin dust and the like).  I’m here to say, there are some days I miss that perfect produce. My neighbor has perfect zucchini in abundance, when I asked him how he gets so much and why my pests don’t plague him (I was waiting for a sage answer that I could really dig my teeth into) he said, I just sprinkle Sevin on the plants…UGGGHHH!

Okay, so what is the pest?  It took me a few years to identify, I thought it was more an environmental problem I was dealing with when one day my Zucchini would be bountifully producing and vigorously growing and then seemingly overnight it would yellow, droop and fall over dead.  Have you ever had that happen? It is quite disheartening because I for one, LOVE my zucchini!  After a few years of this happening (I think I must be slow to catch on) I realized it was not some kind of soil borne problem causing the plants to die but rather, a nasty little creature that liked Zucchini and Yellow squash (as well as all gourd plants, pumpkins and squash) even more than I did.  THE SQUASH VINE BORER.  This is a nasty pest that is the larvae of a flying insect.  Some say that you can get rid of the problem by picking off the flying creature at daylight or dusk, I have never had much luck with this.

​I hate this nasty little creature.  I always find him a bit too late.The tell tale signs are when you look at the base of your zucchini or squash plant and it has a yellow sawdusty kind of look to it.  Those little granules are actually worm castings…eww, not the good kind.  This little worm burrows up inside the base of your plant and hollows it out eating until it is full and very fat.  I have on countless occasions slit the stem of a plant with an exacto knife in an effort to remove said nasty worm and decimate him, sometimes the plants live, sometimes they don’t but it is always a gratifying experience to squish that little bugger.

This year is no different, I only got to enjoy about 2-3 large Zucchini before the nasty worms invaded, I split the stem and killed them but the plants are still struggling.  I usually just use some succession planting so I already have my new up and coming Zucchini plants growing but it is still a battle.  Many people will tell you to use a "floating row cover" however what you may not know is that this method is pretty effective.  The problem is that you cannot use the floating row cover when your plant is flowering or the bees cannot pollinate your plant, that is a whole 'nother problem!

So what do the eggs look like and where can you find them?  Ideally I should have been in the garden daily checking the undersides of the leaves, this is where you will find colonies of the little worm eggs.  I just rip off the small sections of the leaves where I find the eggs, if you have lots of Squash and Zucchini plants you have A LOT of work on your hands.  The sad part is that the little eggs are kinda pretty and look like little gems on the underside of the leaves, but oh the damage they do!

So if you see any of these telltale signs and you, like me are an organically minded gardener, better get busy, that Squash Vine Borer is NOT your friend!  

If you have any tried and true methods that have helped you, please do share.  I have not had luck with Diatomaceous earth, crop rotation, or even soap shields but if there is something else out there, please do let me know!

I have never had pigs before, in fact I have wanted them for years, however hubby said “No way”.  Funny thing though sometimes when something becomes my hubby’s idea it suddenly sounds like a new idea and a good one.  So, this year we got feeder pigs.  We had been hoping to get them from our neighbor, that story didn’t end so well (read here) though I am happy to update that their remaining piglet is doing well (story here).

Now on to what I have learned as a novice pig farmer.

We purchased our feeder pigs around 50lbs with the plan to help them stuff their little piggy faces and pack on the pounds for a November/December date with the packaging process.  When we got them they did not like us or much of anything else but they soon came to realize that our little redneck hodge podge pig pen was like the Hilton compared to where they had been on a concrete floor.  They had grass (for a short time) and lots of good slop as well as quite a bit more space.  I have learned a lot in just the last few weeks, I think I kinda like being a pig farmer.

1. Pigs have personality
                They really do and don’t let anyone tell you different.  I have been trying not to get at all attached to the piggies but they are kinda fun.  They have warmed up to us (considering we provide all things they like) and they are genuinely happy to see us.

2. Pigs bark
                I was quite surprised by this one when I first heard it but they sound much like a dog.  When I happen to accidentally startle the pigs by walking to the pen too quietly they will jump up and bark at me.  Or, they also bark when they get excited that I am bringing something yummy.

3. Pigs like bananas as much as kids like candy
                This was an accidental find.  We have begun keeping anything that we would normally toss to the compost pile and giving it to the pigs.  This happened to include 2 rotten bananas that were well beyond bread making capacity.  I think bananas might be like candy to the pigs, they slurped the insides, began throwing the peel up in the air in a game of catch and fighting over the last bits of greasy black peel and stem.  It was quite entertaining to watch.

4. Pigs like showers
                It has been relentlessly hot around here (90 degrees plus) and though the first time they ran in circles and barked at me, the pigs have come to love their afternoon shower.  We check on the pig’s water usually twice a day and in the heat of the day we usually take the hose out and spray the pigs down, they get so excited and then try to drink the water up like a drinking fountain.  It is quite comical to watch, they will turn side to side and then offer their rumps to be sprayed off too, and they LOVE the showers.

5. Pigs uncurl their tails when they are happy
                This is a phenomenon I had never heard of before; I just assumed pig’s tails were always curly.  I had no idea that not only will they straighten the tail out but they also wag them in a sign of appreciation or delight when given something pleasing.  Again with the bananas, or tomatoes too.  Many a slop items to this and I love to watch the little curl go into a straight line and wag like a dog.

6. Pigs turn green to brown
                Pigs seem to love anything green.  Weeds, thistles, leaves, my green bean plants I pulled up, anything.  But they quickly turn anything green to brown.  By that I mean to tell you that their pen, when they arrived, was full of waist high green grass and weeds, it took them 24 hours flat to turn it all brown and mow down EVERY last bit of green that was visible.  I put in the pickings from a 40 foot long row of bush beans I had planted earlier this year so that I could replant; the green was gone in about 24 hours, all of it!

7. Pigs don’t have to make your whole farm stink
                I was concerned about this really.  I had heard all sorts of horror stories and there is a well known pig farm a few miles away that can knock you over with the smell from a ways down the road.  But, when properly placed and given enough space, pigs don’t ruin the aesthetics of the whole farm.  I have noticed that I have to be within 15 feet of the pen to smell that lovely pig smell.  We smartly placed the pigs about 50 feet behind the barn we have to go to daily and with the wind blowing mostly East to West our home sits to the south of the pigs, therefore our neighbors and our home seem to have escaped any smell, no one even realizes we have pigs until we tell them.
 
So far I am loving this adventure.  The pigs love our scraps and it is more gratifying to feed a pig than a compost pile.  We are planning on butchering ourselves (well hubby is I will be waaaay to pregnant by that point to safely wield a butchering tool) alongside our homesteading neighbors who purchased 3 feeder pigs as well.
​
  I will have to keep you updated on how that all works.  So far we purchased the pigs on July 14 and have already cruised through 250 lbs of feed at a cost of $70 and the pigs initially cost us $1 a lb so $100 total, our current price in these pigs is $170 for both so I am really hoping to find some supplement today at the feed store that doesn’t cost as much as the hog feed does.  I was told to look for shelled corn to mix in with our feed, and the garden should keep producing some cast offs through the season as well, if we keep this up I may have to plant a garden just for the pigs!

We have some friends who, oddly enough like us, have a LOT of children (six to be exact).  We have five children (#6 is still in the incubator) so with all the adults and children that is a whopping 15 people.  Our friends were in town for a wedding and decided that our little homestead would be a great place to power up their camper and hang out.  We had fun, we snapped beans, we swam, we had a campfire, and we attended a wedding of a friend's daughter (wow am I getting old!)  But, trying to be a gracious hostess can be challenging with so many people, not to mention staying on budget.  

Don't get me wrong, my friends had no expectations that I cook for them, but when you come to my house, I'm gonna feed you.  That's just how I was raised and its a little bit of southern hospitality transplanted from the roots of my mother and grandmother.

For this post I am simply focusing on 2 awesome big family breakfasts that I did, these would work well for anyone feeding a crew at breakfast and they ended up being pretty cost effective, so read on and let me share some wisdom with you.

1. PLANNING IS KEY
   You have to have a plan.  You can't wing feeding that many people so plan ahead.  My planning included baking 3 loaves of Zucchini bread and 24 banana muffins the day before my guests arrived.  Luckily both the Zucchini and the fruit were things I already had on hand as well as the ingredients for making the bread and muffins so it was easy, it just required planning.  The grocery list and menu for the meals I prepared were also key to plan for and shop ahead, you can't just feed 15 people on a whim without a plan.

2. ORGANIZATION IS IMPORTANT
    I not only planned a menu but organized when I would be making the meals up.  For the breakfast casserole, that was easy, it is made the night before and just popped in the oven the morning of.  The fruit needed a creative flair so I just arranged it on a plate and made it look pretty but I did wash it ahead of time as all those little tasks.

3. PAPER PRODUCTS MAKE LIFE SIMPLER
  I know it can be seen as wasteful but with many guests I am not going to put out my best dishes, or even my breakable dishes, or even dishes I have to wash for that matter!  It was paper and plastic all the way.

4.  EVERY FARMGIRL SHOULD BE A GOOD HOSTESS
    I learned years ago that being a good hostess is not about showing off your immaculate and magazine ready home for entertainment purposes (I would so fail in this area!) it is about making your guests feel comfortable and at home.

This was the easiest breakfast because I had made the banana muffins and zucchini bread  (recipes linked) the day before so when my guests were here I had little more to do than scramble 2 dozen eggs, arrange some fruit and pull the muffins out of the ziplock bag.  This breakfast was on the breakfast bar in about 25 minutes flat because of that prep work.  Interesting fact, when you make your scrambled eggs up simply put your crockpot on low while you are making them so it is warming up, after you add all the eggs add 1 tsp warm water to keep the eggs from drying out and you can keep the eggs with the lid on for 2-3 hours this way. I usually do turn the crockpot off after about 1 hour so as not to dry out the eggs.

Cleanup was simple too, I had a skillet and spatula from scrambling the eggs but since I used paper ware I only had the three items you see in the picture to take care of, no big deal.

I almost forgot, there was orange juice for both days, it didn't break the bank either as I used frozen concentrate and made it up right before serving, no one was the wiser!

This one pleased the adults (eggs, sausage & cheese) but left sweetened baked oatmeal mostly for the kids.  The prep time for the baked oatmeal was about 15 minutes in the morning but with having made the breakfast casserole the night before, and only having 2 casserole dishes to wash, this was another win.  It fed all 15 people too!  

These are some staple recipes around here: Overnight breakfast casserole (though I use 12 eggs instead of 4 and only 1-1/2 cups milk) and Baked Oatmeal.

With both of the breakfasts I was still able to keep the budget down.  I essentially only had to purchase a few things that I didn't already have in my farmgirl stocked pantry:
extra eggs
extra fresh fruit
sausage
cheese
frozen OJ concentrate

and the budget could remain fully intact.

What are some of your favorite recipes to feed a large group?

I have developed a serious love/hate relationship with our western medicine culture over the last 10 or so years. 

Though I am so very thankful that we have treatments for ailments that cannot be treated with simple backyard medicine, I find that sometimes the benefits don’t outweigh the losses.  We have at our fingertips some of the most amazing technology that allows us to have doctors perform surgery by camera to repair problems.  We have medicines to prevent and often cure ailments that 100 years ago would have meant a death sentence.  But, with all of that amazing progress, we still have a one size fits all approach to health care and often the individual person gets lost in.

We are expecting our 6th baby.  I have been pregnant on and off for the last 16 years and therefore I think that qualifies me as a bit of an expert on my own body and the process my body goes through during a pregnancy. I began really questioning how prenatal care works with its one-sized fits all approach while I was expecting my 4th child.  My husband was a new RN at the time and was not at all open to a dramatic leave from the norm but I did begin to question things that were being “done to me” and I stood up for the types of tests I wanted, didn’t want and what I was willing to accept in my healthcare.  I began to understand that I was the one who should rightly be in control as I was hiring my care team not the other way around and that my feelings, desires, wishes need be considered rather than blindly going along with what the norm was.  That meant I declined an induction to begin labor at 39 weeks though my doctor told me my baby would be very large.  I declined an amniocentesis because of the risks involved outweighing the information I would receive (information that wouldn’t change the outcome for our family anyway).  I declined an IV in the hospital which was “standard protocol” with all patients.  To say I am a difficult patient may be accurate, but I am not in any way malicious when I speak to care providers, I simply let them know that I do not desire certain things that they feel are the norm.

I began seeing a midwife with my 5th child and had the most amazing experience as well as home birth with that pregnancy (read story). That experience left me empowered and fulfilled that my body was more than capable of doing everything that God designed it to do without the assistance of Pitocin, epidurals and pain management meds, etc.  That single experience empowered my ability to research options, learn what the norm was and why certain procedures were performed for the masses of expectant women, and to know what I felt was necessary for me and my baby and what was not.

Enter in the most recent experience I have had.  I am a bit older now, and with this 6th pregnancy I fall into the “high risk” category due to age only.  I have no other risk factors, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no other boxes to check… other than my age.  I am aware that maternal age increases the risk of special circumstances with an infant so I dutifully saw my OB for several visits with the intention of having that 20 week ultrasound to ensure that all looked well before proceeding with my planned homebirth and midwife care.  I knew that there were certain things that could prevent my all natural homebirth, for the good of baby, and I was okay with that. I am thankful we have technology.  I am thankful I have those options.  I am thankful that I have the choice to “peek” into my womb and learn if there is more than one baby stowaway (no worries, just one in there). But with all that comes a price.  I am not talking dollars and cents here.

I went in for my ultrasound and the technician, who has been scanning my pregnancies for a number of years, found a problem.  My world sank.  Her words began to kind of hang in the air above me as she was very general and kind of vague but recommending that I see a high risk maternal fetal medicine physician for a closer look at some of the “abnormalities” she was seeing.  My eyes welled with tears and as I spoke with my very sweet OB (who happens to also be a friend) she tried to reassure me that it could be more minor than major issues that I was dealing with.  The joy of the new life I was carrying was kind of sucked right out of me as I began to wonder what I was dealing with exactly, would I have to endure the valley of a stillborn baby, would I have to be the primary caregiver for a severely disabled child, could I handle all of this?  As luck would have it the next appointment I could secure with that high risk OB was 5 days into the future.  5 long days away.  5 agonizing days of questions.  I have never been good at following directions so I did not listen when my OB told me not to begin researching the concerns.
 I didn’t listen. 

My research lasted only about 5-7 minutes.

 I couldn’t go any further once I began to read.
               
At this point I kind of began to feel as though I was drowning.  I reached out to God and began talking to him, praying to him, begging him for help in this time of need.  I needed a peace.  My loving husband reached out to our church family and asked for prayers, something I was incapable of even doing because I couldn’t talk without becoming inconsolable and unintelligible.  God is good though, I could feel the prayers, and I began to calm down within a day or so.  God let me know, through his peace, that whatever we were dealing with, he would not leave my side.  That was very hard.  I honestly don’t know how people who don’t believe in God get through the rough times, the prayers surrounding me and this little life were almost tangible.

The day came for the subsequent ultrasound.  There were a number of pregnant women in the waiting room and I couldn’t help but wonder what each of their stories was.  I wondered if they prayed.  I wondered if they had been coming here for medical news since the beginning of their pregnancies (that was recommended to me each time I became pregnant over the age of 35) I wondered if they were as anxious as I was.  My husband and I were guided back to the ultrasound room where we spent the next hour looking at our baby from every angle possible. 

The technician found no concerns.

 The doctor found no concerns. 

The tears began streaming from my eyes once again, this time tears of joy and not of fear.
               
As we were wrapping up the doctor suggested a few more tests, among them the option of an amniocentesis should I desire one (I did not) and a blood test or more ultrasounds, because after all I am of “advanced maternal age.”
 No thank you.
 I realize that there are some women whose pregnancies have to be monitored very closely, I am glad I am not one of them.
I had no desire to walk this path for even one more minute.  Even the doctor advised that there are false positives that can be associated with each of the tests he subsequently had offered.  The rates are reported to be low (the false positives) but anything that was going to cause this level of anxiety and stress was not worth it to me.

So continues my love/hate relationship.
 
The undue stress. 

The extreme emotional rollercoaster. 

All of it…I was ready to get off the ride.

I will never know if God worked a miracle in our lives and healed the baby in my womb, or if one ultrasound tecnichian (and a good one at that) simply made a mistake that caused an extreme level of duress to two expectant parents.  Either way I know that God walked this path with us and helped us, as did all the prayer we received. 
I know that I prefer to take the natural approach as I now switch back to my midwifery model of care and my planning for a subsequent home birth.  I know that as I approach the 40 week mark (I always do with my babies) there will be no cause for alarm, even if I am “overdue” as many OB’s would say.  I will not be subject to any invasive procedures, no physical exams, no further undue stress.  My midwife will be concerned, as she always is, with my whole well being, not just the baby I am carrying and how my pregnancy is measuring.  She will sit down with me over a hot cup of tea and we will discuss this chapter in my pregnancy, I will likely shed a few tears in retelling the entire experience to her but she will quietly listen.  She will not push for more and more tests to “be sure” all is well.  She will ask me what I want and how I feel.  She will gently monitor signs for any concerns, she will test urine for proteins, she will measure baby and feel my growing belly to determine babe’s location and be sure he heads to the correct positioning before delivery. She will encourage me, as my OB did, but without the added clinical stressors that come from being a “patient”

That is the way I believe it should be.

I love the empowerment that comes with knowing what is available to me and deciding what is right for our family and our newest babe.

By the way...it's a boy!

I am always amazed at just how pretty and neat my garden starts out being but that by July, August and often on into September, its a jungle out there!  

I am pleased beyond measure about the bounty that I am getting, I am up to 75 pounds of green beans freshly picked, cucumbers, peppers, peas, potatoes and so much more, but it is a bit less than asthetically pleasing now.  It is however producing in abundance...come a long for a quick visit and tour.

Though you cannot tell in the picture, this is actually 2 long rows of bush beans.  I use Early Contender Heirloom bush beans and LOVE the abundance they always produce.  As I mentioned I have pulled 75 lbs of green beans from these two 40 foot long rows and that filled 5 of my 5 gallon buckets, snapping and canning have been my mainstays for the last 2 weeks.  We are nearing the end though, I will pull these rows up next week, toss whats left for the pigs and replant the exact same beans to harvest again in late September.  It is then that I will let some of the lastling beans dry on the plants to save for planting again next year.

I have to confess that this is my first year with onions.  I have always been offered an abundance from my neighbor who grows more than he can ever use, but I was curious and I wanted them to grow REALLY big, my neighbor picks them small.  I am not sure why they are starting to push up out of the ground yet but at this time they are still only golf ball sized (I know this thanks to an avid gardening 2 year old who likes to "help")

My banana peppers and jalapeno peppers always produce so much more than I ever expect, and I always overplant them because they are the easiest to grow from seed, and they produce in abundance.  I will be doing some hot pepper pickling for hubby very soon!

Every year I grow a few unique varieties of tomatoes for no other reason than just because.  I have my staples, Amish paste being the one I use yearly for my spaghetti sauce and Roma for salsa, but honestly I love the variety and colors that I can get in heirloom and some hybrid seeds (though I prefer to grow heirloom so I can seed save).  The above left is my Tigerella tomatoes, they are yellow and green striped and the one on the bottom is almost ripe though not yet tender enough to pick.  Above right are the largest Amish paste I think I have ever grown, there must be some extra good worm castings in my soil this year!

These are new to me this year, blueberry and black cherry tomatoes, I love the little star on top from when the stem is pulled away.  They have the deepest rich purple hue mixed in with the red, these are REALLY cool.  They are a bit tangier than most sweet cherry tomato varieties, but very tasty!

If you missed my post on how to grow purple potatoes, take a peek here...I was checking to see if they are done, nope not yet.  They typically get to be the size of a tennis ball so a little longer...

Check out my simple trellis design from repurposed metal rods we found in our old barn (the one we tore down)

I prefer to grow all of my cucumbers trellised like this and really any 3 long poles or sticks will do, I have even used just dead wood sticks in a pinch.  This seems to help with air circulation so as to avoid powdery mildew problems and also makes finding and picking those cucumbers much easier.

This is my zucchini that I plant successively throughout the season.  I do this because I have a never-ending battle with squash vine boarers.  My neighbor grows big beautiful zucchini EVERY year, when I asked him his secret...he said Sevin dust.  Nope not for me, so instead I deal with the organic method of handpicking aphid eggs and covering with a floating row cover when I remember to.

There it is, the garden in July, thanks for visiting with me this morning, I will update again next month, it is sure to be even more home like for Tarzan himself then.