I came to some realizations. I would not trade places with that girl from 20 years ago for anything. I love my life now, I am comfortable in my own skin (even if it is a bit bigger than it was then) and I have so much to be thankful for over the last 20 years. I don't feel the need to try to impress people and have learned to just be real. I have hard earned every laugh line and gray hair. I have an invaluable husband, beautiful children, loving family and friends, and an amazing church family. This is not me bragging, this is thankfulness. I feel so blessed and I am thankful for everything I have. So, it is okay that I do not look like an 18 year old anymore, because back then I certainly did not have life figured out. It takes a long time to garner that kind of understanding!
I also had some time to introspect and got to thinking on a question. Why do we have a need to get together for these reunions? I mean, I was not popular and though I had a core group of friends, I didn't always feel like I belonged. I was often even teased and picked on. I believe that the answer to why we want to go back and get together is that though highschool was many things to many people, good, bad, awkward at times; It was a shared experience we had in time. A group of people who shared life for a few years an there are shared memories there. I found that as the years have gone by the social class lines that were so clear those years ago are pretty much all faded. We can reminicse about certain teachers that impacted our lives in different ways, places we hung out that are closed and gone now. I have also figured out that beneath all the lines that were so clearly drawn years ago were just a bunch of kids trying to figure life out. Some of those who I thought had it all together years ago are oft times still searching, those who were unkind were possibly dealing with things under the surface that I knew nothing about.
All in all, I am glad I went. It was good to see people that I had not seen in years and hear about their children and thier lives. They all looked amazing and time has been very kind to everyone. I would go again too, I mean where else can I laugh about the fashion we wore or the friday nights we hung out?
Not to mention, I actually got a night out with this handsome guy, funny thing is, he graduated from my same school, but a year behind me...and get this, we didn't like each other back then...that's a whole 'nother story!