I have been married for over 17 years now. I married a man who is my best friend and who sees me at my worst and at my best. He has seen me sick as a dog with my hair a mess and smudges of makeup from the night before. He has seen me puffy-eyed and snotty after a good cry. He has smelled my morning breath when he has rolled over for a kiss, he has seen me as large as a beached whale before giving birth. He knows every stretch mark and scar I own. He also sees me in my “mom attire” and loves me anyway.
Yesterday this best friend of mine suggested we go out for a bite to eat after putting our littles to bed (it is so nice to have a teenager who is capable of babysitting for occasions just such as this). It was kind of a passing suggestion, we were busy mowing, gardening, cleaning house and basically just “doing life.” I kind of brushed it off as I was busy tending to so many things and thought we will figure out the details later.
Later did come and hubby brought it up again, we decided on a plan and then aimed to have our littles settled and dinner for the kids finished as well as the house cleaned back up before heading out for a brief reprieve. The problem then? I looked at the clock…we were supposed to be leaving in 35 minutes. Let me tell you this farm girl takes awhile to pretty up, especially after a hard day’s work. I had been so busy with “doing life” that I hadn’t taken into account that I needed a shower, hair blow-dried, makeup re-done and clothes picked out. I mean, when did I really have time for all that?
I stopped for a moment to take quick account in the mirror. He has seen me look worse after all, I could just throw my hair up in a ponytail, do a super quick rinse off and tidy up what was left of my makeup…I could make it happen. But, was that my best? Was that what I would have done when he and I were still dating? Would I have only put in partial effort back when I got butterflies every time he showed up at the door? Did he deserve less because he had seen me in every state over the last 17 years? I thought about it for one more minute and then decided I would make “beautiful” happen for him, even if in only 35 minutes.
I completely showered, shaved, did the fastest blow dry and makeup, had to skip doing the nails to save time but even turned in my “mom attire” for a pretty skirt and wedges. Did I feel like doing this…honestly no, I felt like just heading out “as is.” I decided though, that he was worth the effort. He even said something I pondered on for the rest of the night…we were heading out the door and my teenager commented “wow mom, you look really nice!” My husband’s comment to her was…”see, this is how you go out with your husband even after 17 years, remember that one day when you are married.”
I imagine someone may find that statement sexist in our current day and age, but I found that it was packed full of truth because the way I present myself to my husband can really show him how much I value him. God made men to be pleased by sight, and they like to look at nice looking things. I know that my husband would have gone out with me had I just made a half effort, and we would have had fun, but…he knows I still value him enough to put in the effort of trying to do what I would have done back when we were “dating”. I think on the whole when we are in the throws of “doing life” and raising littles, we moms often forget this very important fact.
So, a challenge to you mamas, even if a date night is not in your immediate future. Put in the effort, even if that means changing out of a spit-up laden shirt and yoga pants just 5 minutes before he comes in the door. It does matter, this is advice from a seasoned mama of 5 who looks her worst far more often then she does her best…
Go the extra step, put on the mascara....and if you really feel spicy…the wedges buried in the back of the closet too!
Yesterday this best friend of mine suggested we go out for a bite to eat after putting our littles to bed (it is so nice to have a teenager who is capable of babysitting for occasions just such as this). It was kind of a passing suggestion, we were busy mowing, gardening, cleaning house and basically just “doing life.” I kind of brushed it off as I was busy tending to so many things and thought we will figure out the details later.
Later did come and hubby brought it up again, we decided on a plan and then aimed to have our littles settled and dinner for the kids finished as well as the house cleaned back up before heading out for a brief reprieve. The problem then? I looked at the clock…we were supposed to be leaving in 35 minutes. Let me tell you this farm girl takes awhile to pretty up, especially after a hard day’s work. I had been so busy with “doing life” that I hadn’t taken into account that I needed a shower, hair blow-dried, makeup re-done and clothes picked out. I mean, when did I really have time for all that?
I stopped for a moment to take quick account in the mirror. He has seen me look worse after all, I could just throw my hair up in a ponytail, do a super quick rinse off and tidy up what was left of my makeup…I could make it happen. But, was that my best? Was that what I would have done when he and I were still dating? Would I have only put in partial effort back when I got butterflies every time he showed up at the door? Did he deserve less because he had seen me in every state over the last 17 years? I thought about it for one more minute and then decided I would make “beautiful” happen for him, even if in only 35 minutes.
I completely showered, shaved, did the fastest blow dry and makeup, had to skip doing the nails to save time but even turned in my “mom attire” for a pretty skirt and wedges. Did I feel like doing this…honestly no, I felt like just heading out “as is.” I decided though, that he was worth the effort. He even said something I pondered on for the rest of the night…we were heading out the door and my teenager commented “wow mom, you look really nice!” My husband’s comment to her was…”see, this is how you go out with your husband even after 17 years, remember that one day when you are married.”
I imagine someone may find that statement sexist in our current day and age, but I found that it was packed full of truth because the way I present myself to my husband can really show him how much I value him. God made men to be pleased by sight, and they like to look at nice looking things. I know that my husband would have gone out with me had I just made a half effort, and we would have had fun, but…he knows I still value him enough to put in the effort of trying to do what I would have done back when we were “dating”. I think on the whole when we are in the throws of “doing life” and raising littles, we moms often forget this very important fact.
So, a challenge to you mamas, even if a date night is not in your immediate future. Put in the effort, even if that means changing out of a spit-up laden shirt and yoga pants just 5 minutes before he comes in the door. It does matter, this is advice from a seasoned mama of 5 who looks her worst far more often then she does her best…
Go the extra step, put on the mascara....and if you really feel spicy…the wedges buried in the back of the closet too!
